of life...and death

I think about death a lot these days. No no , not in a morbid way or in any self-inflicting manner . But rather I am trying to understand and come to terms with this much-avoided but ultimate reality called death.  This morning as i browsed over what i call "my newspaper", i happened to stumble upon a blog and a post. Both of them, extremely poignant and soul-stirring, were related to death, in a very positive and inspiring way.

 The post was from a friend, who had lost a life-long partner, and yet, for whom, life had to go on, for the sake of her children and for herself. It is a story of strength and patience, of pain and lonliness, and of, achievement and victory ( if i may use the last word). The post found its way silently and strongly into my heart not only because it was so moving, but because it spoke of so much strength, of patience, of love and the will to carry on inspite of the unwillingness; that life carries on, has to carry on and knows no other. Somewhat reminds me of the strong and silent mighty Brahmaputra that wreaks havoc in the simple lives of the  multitude that looks up to it for strength and succour; yet it flows without a flinch, without finish.

The other was a blog, again written by a friend about death of a loved one and the painful realisation that death really doesn't takes away whom we love. They are forever in our minds and hearts. It was written straight from her heart and found its way into mine, perhaps because we both had experienced death of a loved one. But the beauty of the piece lay not only in the longing and the pain, but in the eventual realisation that the loved one lives on in the heart, and we should cherish the happy moments spent rather than on the sadness of the physical separation.

 I am glad that my day began on a positive note. I am quite often chastised for thinking negative thoughts but today i commit myself to dwell on all things positive; to cherish what i have and not fritter my thoughts away on the frivolous. To not fret about the little things because life will continue any which way. Life is so much more than that. It is about living every moment and cherishing what we have and hold. Let's say Amen to that.

Rainy Rantings ... in the Desert

A cup of tea in one hand and a book in the other and rain outside my window- an idyllic and perfect afternoon for every avid reader; except that the last element, rain, is not something one can wish for and get in Saudi Arabia. But this afternoon was special. The sky had darkened to a feverish brown-black and it seemed like another sandstorm was in the offing. I put my over-imaginative mind to work and fantasised thunder and lightning followed by the romance of rains. And me lounging on a couch languorously enjoying a book by the window seat. Perhaps God was nearby and sent me some magic dust. It started raining and i decided to make the most of my dull lazy afternoon. I made a cup of tea for myself and perched on a window seat and took in the rains like a thirsty soul.

The rains seem to have that effect on me, of watering my senses and making them feel alive again. It made me ink my thoughts on paper. Nothing profound, nothing overwhelming- just some earnest and honest emotions pouring out like the rains bursting upon a dusty hot afternoon. I think rains seem to have that effect on most of us who happen to be from India. Rains in India do not just happen to be characteristic of the monsoon season, which spans across for almost around four months across most states, but apart from a being a geographical entity it has certain social and cultural connotations as well.

Rains are a life-giver in India which sustains itself economically primarily through agriculture. In that sense, rains are the source of life for its teeming millions. It gives sustenance to thirsty crops which still depend heavily on the Indian monsoons and fills up the myriad rivers of the sub-continent which in turn irrigate the hills and plains, and provide hydel power to light up villages and towns. what a life-giving force the rains are! without the rains we would have been a dry dusty desert and we do not even have liquid gold under our soil.


So that was about the economics of rain. But much as its economic significance may be, i would rather dwell on the romance of the rains. Let the erudite dwell on the intellectual aspects. Lesser mortals like me would rather talk of the poetry and music of the rains. "my heart leaps up..." at the sound of thunder and lightning which augurs the rains. Rains seem to have a wonder, a mystery about them, i could never fathom. The skies darkening during the day with dark angry clouds ready to burst any moment and the dark nights made more mysterious and menacing as thunder rolls across the wrathful skies. Perhaps it is comfort-food for the soul in a paradoxical way. It reminds me of a childhood when rains were bountiful and we would brave the rains with umbrellas and raincoats to go to school; or of rainy soggy evenings when thunder and lightning would send the power scurrying away  and we were spared from the tyranny of evening studies in the pleasant damp darkness. and oh yes, before i forget, the sound of the whistling winds on the tin roof accompanied by the pitter-patter of raindrops and the frogs going berserk with their throaty loud croaks in the 'beel' just behind our house.

those times have now been reduced to only a figment of our memories.

In the north of India, where rains are scantier than the north-east of India, people welcome and celebrate the rains by getting wet and dancing in the first outpour. When i first saw this ritual, i found it quite amusing as i came from a place where rains were taken for granted and rarely disappointed anyone during the monsoons. As i made the north of the country my home, i gradually learnt to appreciate and understand this 'rainy' ritual. In fact, many a time i have myself danced in joyous abandon in the first rain of the season. Now that i am far away from my home country in a desert land, my thirsty soul yearns for those rumblings of thunder and lightning, the earthy smell of the parched soil after the first shower, and the rain falling incessantly quenching the tired and the thirsty.  time and place have taught me that rain is indeed a blessing. Amen.